Dating & Relationships

The ‘Not Feeling It’ Dating Disaster

It’s been two weeks since I’ve spurred up my dating activities up again, so far I’ve only been on two dates with the same guy. My dates with this new guy were underwhelming if I had to choose one word to describe them. I don’t know what I was thinking when I accepted to the second date, his follow-up caught me off guard a bit and I didn’t know how to tell him that I actually wasn’t interested right after kissing him on the street.

For our first date we did a bit of bar hopping, from an outdoor beer garden to an outside wine/cider pop-up type event. The first quarter of the date involved a little too much history talk than I care for, which only lead to another topic that I couldn’t really engage in. I hide the way I was feeling internally from affecting my body language since I did not want to be rude. Being that it was still pretty early, we continued on our date. There’s always so much more to someone and it wasn’t so terrible that I needed to bail.

At location #2, when we got our second round of drinks in hand and the night progressed, the conversation got better and more tolerable. However, I didn’t feel that pull of attraction. In the end though I know I can’t drink more than two drinks without it affecting my judgement. So when that kiss came, I just let it happen. Catching me by surprise was be the immediate lead in to setting up another date. Call me naïve or whatever, but I truly wasn’t expecting it.

Then yesterday, we went out to dinner. Randomly though right in middle of conversation he just stood up and walked away to the back of the restaurant. Obviously he went to the restroom and he did return, but to get up and not say anything was a bit odd. No warning, no anything. I’ve never experienced something like that. Is it not common courtesy to excuse yourself? I get just standing up without saying anything with a group of people, but not with just one person let alone someone you’re on a second date with and barely know.

Ultimately, I let my confusion pass and felt okay with giving him the benefit of the doubt. But in the end, that night’s kiss when he pulled me into him, I knew what I should be doing but I couldn’t bring myself to it. Then this morning on my walk I made eye contact with this hot guy on a bike. Suddenly, my heart stopped and I felt like someone pushed me in my chest. That’s when I realized that I needed to start looking for a connection that gave me that ‘oh, who’s he?’ feeling.

I thought perhaps I would go the day without a text from him and that we would float apart, but I didn’t later that afternoon. In the middle of the night last night I knew what I had to do. So, I texted him that I didn’t feel the same way, yadda, yadda. If felt exactly like ripping off a bandaid, but I’m glad I ripped it off. Note to self now: honesty truly is key and will keep you sane. Don’t lie to yourself and don’t lie to others, its much better for everyone involved.

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