At this point we’re post breakup #2 and back on, so I thought to myself, “three times a charm, luck could be on our side this time around”. This time around though I had my guard ALL the way up, how could you blame me, except my guard never came down. I noticed this when he invited me to his family’s holidays gatherings and I didn’t even think about inviting him to mine. I never did feel secure in the relationship and didn’t want to go through the introduction to family members, only for the relationship to fall apart. Deep down I knew a breakup was inevitable, as I suspected that nothing would change.
As time went on we played out our role as a couple, but we never grew close to the extent were we lived in and breathed in each other’s air. At some point, he began working on a start-up that began to take up a chunk of his time. While this was happening he constantly talked about this new business with me, but in a way that it was more that he was thinking out loud. Not that he didn’t ask for my advice on things because he did, he practically ran every detail through me. Every detail including the name of the company and turns out he used the name that I suggested (Flash forward: we discussed the name recently, and he denied that the name was my idea! Agh is he kidding me!?).
When we would walk around the city he could go on forever discussing the business and running numbers out loud. He would get mad at me for not being more engaged with his thoughts and calculations that were running through his head (he’s a mathlete at heart, and I’m guilty of randomly giving him math problems because it would get his mind off topic. I honestly don’t believe he ever caught on to this). Anyway, in addition to his constant talking about his business, when I would interject a thought into his conversation.
This let on through the holidays and in total this portion of our relationship lasted about four months. We even took a vacation, but about three weeks after the holidays it ended. He came over to my apartment after I was away for work for almost two weeks. I noticed something was wrong, because he didn’t even offer to pick me up from the airport and he also didn’t make any real effort in seeing me. After being back for a few days we finally met up at my apartment, and it was so awkwardly quite. We sat for a few minutes in silence, till he noted that he didn’t feel like what we had was a relationship. He said that he felt like a bad boyfriend and was holding me back. Yep, that’s right. We talked for probably a half hour until he left. Talking made me feel slightly better because there was closure and I wasn’t even sad. It took me maybe a week before I was downloading dating apps.
And so after the third time that we had broken up I thought to myself, “three times is a charm, this has got to be it”. Leave me a comment down below if you’ve gone through something similar. I almost feel like I get fueled and energized by breakups somehow. Like I start getting back to working out and doing yoga regularly with a new energy.