Dating & Relationships

A Spin on the Classic, “It’s Me, Not You” Break-Up Story | Reason for Break-Up #1

I have known my “boyfriend” for 17 months and we’ve broken up too many times for comfort, beyond the three times a charm thought. My “boyfriend” is actually the one that I had written my previous post on breaking up and moving on, however after 5 months of being broken up, we once again decided to try things out between us. I know, I know, I should have known better and I had it coming for me. And once again I can confirm that things just aren’t working out and nothing has changed. Here’s part one of the story, Breakup #1 a.k.a the classic tale of “It’s Me, Not You.”

In essence, breakup #1 is your quintessential “it’s me, not you” breakup story bullshit. It was early April 2016 and roughly four months into us dating when our first breakup happened. For privacy reasons, let’s give my “boyfriend” the name Dick. Dick had been experiencing some health issues, I showed him that I was there for him if or when he needed me to be and I gave him his space. Space was what he wanted, but after some time it got to the point that perhaps he could be using this health issue he was experiencing as an excuse to push me away.

After a little bit of time went on and his health didn’t show any significant signs of improving, I continue to stand on the side lines waiting to be called upon to play. Little did I know or want to realize that this would be a reoccurring theme throughout our relationship. At this point I could sense the breakup happening, I texted my friend that day on the bus holding back an ugly crying face, “It’s happening, he’s breaking up with me.” Sure enough I texted Dick noting my concerns on the current status of our relationship and what did I receive back? Yup, you guessed it! The text can be summed up as “it’s me, not you”. Although I don’t remember his exact words because this happened over a year ago, I do remember him using the excuse that he didn’t feel comfortable with his health issues around me, and wasn’t in the mood to socialize; it was him, not me.

From this I was accepting of the fact and felt bad for him. However, he didn’t quite let me go entirely. I would hear from him here and there, mostly through snaps on snapchat and the occasional text. I didn’t want to cease all communications with him, because to me the way things ended were out of both of our controls and due to his health not being at a 100. Basically what he was diagnosed was a disease that restricted his diet significantly along with side effects that anyone would need space and time to adjust to. Knowing a good bit about the disease, I knew that if I was in his situation that I wouldn’t be feeling up to trying new things either. I backed off, but I would offer my help with cleaning, shopping, and cooking. He never took any of those offers, instead he thought it would be best for me to just disappear, so I tried to once things were done. Mind you this was a breakup in text, and he said he would be willing to meet to answer any questions, blah blah blah.

Two or so months later, we started meeting up again as his health improved and he could now eat normally again. Taking things slowly, we grocery shopped and went to dinners occasionally, and eventually things started up again. Things began to be like they were before when we first started dating, except all the negative aspects were once again hidden in the little details of things. I didn’t quite questions things as I should have , putting emphasis on the idea that the only reason he started acting weird and shying away was because of his illness, and never considering an underlying characteristic flaw.

If you think you can guess what happens in the next breakup comment down below. Here’s a hint, it gets more complicated and the title of it will give it away. It’s just as messed up as you could imagine. Trust me, each one of these breakups is more messed up than the next.

Follow Edgy Downtown to receive an email for my next posts that will include how my other breakups with Dick happen, yes there are more (four more!). I already have them written, so I will be post a couple of them this later week. Yes, I know I don’t have the greatest reputation of being consistent with my posts but I have worked out how I will set time aside to write. With my new found love of hanging out in cafes and dining signally at vegan places, I see many more posts in my near future.

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